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10 flirting tips for socially awkward queer guys

Because Grindr isn’t your only option…

Flirting comes naturally to many of us. We all have that one friend who can literally charm the pants off of every single guy he talks to. But this piece isn’t for him. He’s annoying and we hate him. (JK, we love him…but like…he’s literally the worst.) This is for the gay and bi men who have been relying on Grindr, dare I say it, a little too much. This is for the queer guys out there who don’t feel comfortable flirting with other men in real-life social settings. So here it is: 10 flirting tips for socially awkward queer guys.

1. Turn that resting bitchface upside-down

In case you were wondering, this is also known as a smile. Smiling is crucial. It makes you so much more approachable and likable. Don’t force an awkward joker-esque smile, but make sure that you don’t look like you’re scowling.

2. Erect…posture

Stand up straight. You’ll feel more confident when you do.

3. Hands at your side

Don’t cross your hands over your chest or have them in your pockets. This makes you look very unapproachable. Always have your hands at your sides. No fidgeting either.

4. Talk about ‘Drag Race’ if you’re not sure what to talk about

RuPaul’s Drag Race is a gift to every single socially awkward gay man out there. It is such an easy conversation starter. Everyone watches it. Everyone has opinions on their favorite and least favorite queens. And if they don’t watch it, it’s like, do you even want to be talking to them?

5. “What about you?”

Whenever he asks you a question, make sure to follow up by asking something about him. If you don’t, the conversation dies.

6. Get comfortable standing alone

This is easier said than done, but this is crucial. I used to feel so awkward standing alone at a bar or event. I used to think everyone noticed how much of a loser I was for not talking to anyone. The truth is, nobody’s eyes are on you. Nobody cares. You’re not that important. When you start to feel comfortable while standing alone in party settings, you won’t feel pressured to talk to other people, which means you’ll be less nervous when you actually do.

7. Get the guy who’s great at socializing to be your wingman

Remember that friend I spoke about in the introduction? Hopefully you didn’t cuss him out already. You should use him. If he’s a great socializer, have him be your wingman. He’ll help you play to your strengths. He’ll break the ice. He’s literally the best person to have on your side.

8. Wear what you’re most comfortable in…

Be comfortable. Be you. Yes, it’s corny, but don’t wear something to try to fit in. God knows I used to do that. Now I just dress like a THOT and feel a lot more comfortable.

9. …but also peacock with one item

Okay, so dress comfortably, but at the same time, wear one item that’s a conversation starter. A feather earring, a big necklace, something. Peacocking makes it easier for other guys to start a conversation with you. “Oh my god, I love your [gaudy article of clothing]!”

10. Seriously, smile

I don’t think I emphasized this enough. Those pearly whites are your best weapon. Use them.


This article by Zachary Zane was originally post on

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