The Issue of Sex Shaming Among LGBTQ Community

Being a part of the LGBT community has many wonderful sides. Besides being able to dance like a fool and drink “girly” cocktails, the queer liberation movement also allowed us to have a lot of great sex. But, not everything is peachy. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of slut-shaming coming towards our lifestyle. While the straight world never stops judging us for who we are, the dynamics should be different in our rainbow-colored world. But, it’s not! Why is sex-shaming so prominent among LGBT people?

Slutty behavior as a threat to gay marriage

People of alternative sexuality have been told since forever that our sexuality is wrong and sinful. These comments usually come from the outside, so we have a duty to stand up to all the shaming that’s been going on inside the community. One of the main arguments is that we will never convince the public that we deserve equal rights when all gay men are on Grindr all the time and all lesbians are switching partners faster than socks. However, just because we have the right to marry, it doesn’t mean this practice is right for everyone. Some people just love to be single while some just love to date. Our expression of sexual desire outside of marriage is not a threat to our right to marry. A thruple living together is not a threat to two men getting married just like two men getting married is not a threat to straight marriage.

Bi-phobia and slut-shaming

Bi people report a lot of discrimination from both sides. While some level of bullying is expected from the straight community, bisexuals worry more about the hostility they experience from the LGBT community. Bi people are often treated like they don’t belong in the community and they are not proper. They are perceived and shamed for being “greedy” as if a bisexual is not capable of being monogamous. But, thanks to a lot of effort from the bi community, bisexuality is slowly becoming more and more mainstream with many celebrities and public-eye people experimenting with the label. In some countries like Australia where escort services are legal, one can even dive into the world of same-sex dating without consequences. If someone wants to experiment and figure out their sexuality, escorts in Sydney are always there to make things a little clearer for them. And professionals will never sex-shame their clients, so it’s a safe and shame-free way to try new things.

PrEP didn’t help

In the 80s, promiscuity really fell out of fashion as the AIDS crisis blossomed. However, we are at a place where gay sex doesn’t automatically mean death. Did the fear of disease leave scars that grew into hatred of promiscuous behavior? Today, there’s a whole new kind of slut-shaming in the community focusing around PrEP. Folks on PrEP are being responsible and taking precautions in preventing HIV, but all others are focusing on is the fact that they must be dirty since they don’t always want to use a condom. People taking PrEP are often accused of having sex with many people or being into chemsex. If you think PrEP-shaming is new, it sure looks a lot like birth control-shaming women sometimes still endure.

All in all, we are happy to live in a moment of history where we finally have the right to marry and the public opinion is mostly on the side of the community. However, our fight for liberation is not over—we need to look past assimilation and continue to push for a more equal society without shame. The LGBT community is diverse and we come in monogamous, polyamorous, gay, lesbian, bi, asexual, sex-worker, cruiser and nuclear-family editions, so let’s embrace our differences and let people love and live the way they want to.

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