The biggest trait people respect in others is genuineness. It’s hard to find these days because we’re so busy trying to be something else. Authenticity is a quality we all want to be around, but after years of building masks, how can we find courage to let them all go?
I’ve learned countless of lessons in my life, all of which have helped me know more about myself. Sometimes there are things we can’t control in this world, but if there’s one thing we all have power of, it’s our character. Once we have control of that, everything else magically falls in place.
1. Listen Only to Yourself.
Genuineness is recognized when you live as the man you’re meant to be. In order to find him, you need to stop listening to everyone around you. Your parents, your friends, your teachers, your students, your siblings, strangers or loved ones, can’t ever speak for you nor should you allow them to think for you.
The only voice, intuition or consciousness you ought to obey is your own. That’s the only way to achieve your destiny. Your authenticity becomes more palatable when you listen to your gut. You become comfortable in your own skin. You think, “Yes, that’s the man I want to go to bed with.” You live as you’re meant to be—it’s a high so powerful that once you’re up there, you never want to come down.
2. Tap Into Your Inner Child.
Inside every man or woman, there is a child who never grew up. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean your spirit has changed. It only means we’ve learned to adapt independently, to manage our practical and emotional life in a mature way. But deep down, we’re still a child with an imagination the size of the moon and with incredible amounts of love to give—try and remember what it felt like.
Not only should you tap into your own inner child, but also inspire others to do the same. When a person intimidates you, envision them as a child. That’s the boy or girl you need to connect with. We’re all so busy trying to be grownups—let’s face it, we make it up as we go along. Make the world smile by reminding us that in spite of adult problems, there is always room for magic.
3. Never Love Blindly; Only in Focus.
When you love, love fiercely and with every fiber of your being. But know how valuable it is. Never give it away for free because at its very core, love is coveted by the greedy.
Everyone wants to be loved. So much so that when they see a pure heart, they want to grab it and use it. In many ways, love is a currency that can be traded carelessly. Don’t be afraid to love the world and all the people in it. Don’t be afraid to love strangers or to give love and respect, but be strong enough to know what it truly looks like: Love feels good. It isn’t manipulated, uncomfortable or used for blackmail or credit. It’s real, and when done correctly, lights up the saddest of faces.
4. Stop Lying to the World.
Genuine is truth. It’s time to detox yourself of every lie you’ve told. Think back and back and back to the very first white lie that jumpstarted a path of others—own it, and vow never to do it again.
You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not in order for people to like or respect you. Trust me when I say they like and respect a person who tells the truth rather than a man who feels he needs to brag, exaggerate or make up tales to gain validity. When you lie, you unconsciously tell yourself you aren’t good enough as you are—this message gets spread to the rest of your subliminal mind, making it hard to reverse. Every lie trains your brain to think you’re inadequate. Break the habit.
5. Be Grateful for Goodness.
Seeing and experience a genuine spark is rare, so be grateful when it happens. Recognize it then close your eyes and retain its goodness so you can tap into it when you need to remember what goodness feels like.
There is good all around. People do have bad qualities about them (we can’t help it), but at our core we are good—we discovered the power of community long ago. It’s how we’ve gotten to where we are: by being here for each other and spreading positivity from one heart to another.
6. Give People a Chance.
People know when you aren’t here with them. We know when you’re judging us, when you feel uncomfortable or nervous around us, when you’re being fake, or when you’re hiding something. At the end of the day, a genuine spirit is one who doesn’t rely on assumptions to create opinions. Instead, he or she relies on experiences to judge.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them (thanks Mya). Don’t take someone’s gossip as the truth. Think for yourself. Give people a chance to show you who they really are without getting interrupted by mean girl thoughts. Let them teach you how to think of them.
7. Look Down to No One.
There is no one in this world more important than you. Let me repeat: there is no one in this world more important than you. What I mean by that is to never become submissive for anyone. Look down to no one.
Keep your head high because you are a clean slate. The world isn’t your boss. Quite the contrary, you are the boss of the world. Whether it’s your superior, your parents, or a friend, no one should be given your power. That’s yours to keep and hold. Never make any person treat you less than what you are.
8. Live Inside Your Heart Every Single Day.
You’re capable of loving in ginormous quantities. Sit in it. Understand that when you wake up, you deserve to be whole. Nothing has ever come from holding hate in your heart; love heals all cracks and wounds. It’s an emotional balm that never fails.
At the end of our lives we’re never judged by the amount of things we do, but by how much love we leave. That’s our legacy. Leave trails of it wherever you go not because you want to be liked, but because it’s an expression of who you are and how much you respect life.
9. Give Joy to Others.
The greatest gift you can ever give someone isn’t bought at a store, but given freely from the soul. Joy is a fulfillment we’re all seeking, but most of us know where to look because the only way we find it is by bouncing it back and forth from each other—when you give joy, you henceforth receive it.
You give joy by not rocking the boat, by not making people angry on purpose or delivering anything you know will make things difficult. Do your best at the work you do, make the best possible choices you can make from what you know thus far, and make sure people know how much you care. That’s when joy is born, as well as the duty to reciprocate it. Then it becomes a dance.
10. Show Your True Colors.
Stop hiding. Stop filtering yourself to make people happy. Your brain is going to pick up this habit as self-pity and will soon start to play it with or without your permission. Rid yourself of the mask and relish in the truth.
You know when you’re at your most sharp: you seem to be on a roll, you’re incredibly comfortable, you never question what people are thinking because you know they’re in love with you—this is you at your prime. We love these moments because it’s when our true colors are expressed… that’s why people love you. It’s only when we stop ourselves that the world stops too. Believe me, the colors are always as bright as your courage to show them.
H/T David Artavia – GayGuys.com